A moan on sore throats.

Are contending for a place in my Annoying Little Things list. I hate sore throats, they can make you feel so crap, but they are a such a small thing. I mean, if you said "I have a sore throat" people would be (quite rightly) like "Who cares" But really they make you feel so rubbish. And slightly sick too.

Yay. Mum bought me some Soothers. Some short term relief.

Went to the library today and just for old times sake, got a Redwall book that I haven't actually read. The food descriptions are mouthwathering! I don't mean to sound patronising but they are really sweet. I love it that all the good characters are completely good, with practically no bad traits. And of course, that good always overcomes evil. I love Redwall Abbey too! I wish I could live there, but I don't think I'd fit in, because all the creatures at Redwall Abbey are so peaceful and virtuous, two things I most definitely am not!

Huh.

I have done no substantial revision. I have a vague feeling that I should be revising but I can't be bothered and the day just passes too quickly. Which is pretty weird, considering I just lounge around the house all day doing jack.

It's really stupid. When I get off the computer, I am going to sit down and do some work. And nothing is going to stop me. Nothing at all.

Stupid

I don't know why, but I really feel like I always want to be in this shell where I never have to do anything, like go out into the real world.

We (me, Polly, Fatima and Salima) were talking about Fatima going on campus etc. etc. And I was trying to imagine myself going on campus or something and I just feel that I don't want to do anything, ever. I just feel like I wouldn't be able to. I mean, I have a huge mental barrier there (like the leap of faith in the park) Like not wanting to go out and get a job. I just don't want to meet or even see people anymore...
I know that everyone else in this house feels like that because of our upbringing. Especially Sam and Fahad. And Fatima. It's so unfair. When we can actually have experiences etc. we're just not going to want to be there. I now understand the appeal of living like a simple hermit.

I know I'm not making much sense. I'm confused too. Oh well. It just boils down to the same thing, as it always does: Dad. Big surprise there.

Morning

Morning has broken, like the first morning,
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird.
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning,
Praise for them springing fresh from the Word.

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven,
Like the first dew fall on the first grass.
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden,
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass.
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning,
Born of the one light Eden saw play.
Praise with elation, praise every morning,
God's re-creation of the new day.

Remind me....

...never ever to go on people's myspaces. Ever. I don't know why I do go on them, they just piss the hell out of me. No names mentioned of course. I swear, at 16, everyone is the same. In a bad way.

I am really pissed off. Mum and Dad are the main cause. "When you're child has exams you're meant to support them" he says. "The only way to support me right now is to piss off" I say. I wish. They have to put me in a bad mood when I'm supposed to be revising don't they? I mean do they think I'm going to be dancing in glee and happiness when they are sniping at eachother? Actually make that Dad being a bastard to Mum, and Mum looking upset. GET OVER IT. It's only been happening for about 26 years. I know that's really mean but I can't help the way I feel.

About fucking apples. For God's sake.

I don't think I'll revise today. I wish I was at school. At least I wouldn't be in this depressing house.

Whew....

4 days straight of GCSE's....pretty hard going. I feel really drained and I'm really not looking forward to the next lot which start on the 5th. I know it's my fault that I did night-before revision for some of my GCSE's, but I can't help berating myself. I know that I really haven't done too well, or rather, done my best. Oh well...there's really no point saying it now. I'll just have to not do that for my next lot of exams.
Just wish I had a Time-Turner like Hermione. Actually, that wouldn't help would it? I would just be in the past watching myself doing no revision! Or my self that went into the past could revise then lock my un-revising self in the toilet, and do the exam. Make that un-rebising self! LOL! No one will get why I just said that, apart from maybe Fatima.
End of school two weeks ago. Abi made a video of 11S which I am dying to get my hands on! Helen said she'd make a copy for me and hopefully Amina will get it from her tomorrow.

So. Tomorrow, intensive revision begins.

Man...

...Spanish oral on Monday. I'm quite worried. Especially with the C roleplay. Cos I crapped that up last time, and that made me get a stupid 35/50.

Hmmm, so I think it's time to speak Spanish..

Hace buen calor! En sabado, voy a ir a biblioteca, y quiero trabajar en el biblioteca. Mr. Johnson cree que soy muy crappo a Espanola!

Esta manana, me gustaria ir al parque.....pero solamente if its caliente.

Adios.